War Trauma

War is Hell. No one knows this better than those who have been on the front lines, where friends and comrades have been killed or wounded. No matter how much training soldiers have, no matter how much they know that they have honorably served their country,  they are still human, and each unexpected death or wounding elicits a human reaction. Soldiers who are severely wounded will be reminded daily of what happened for the rest of their lives, as they live with the consequences.

In war, innocent civilians are wounded or die, including women and children. Hundreds of thousands of people loose their homes, businesses, and sometimes their countries. Both soldiers and civilians suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), with such symptoms as depression, anxiety, flashbacks, insomnia, panic attacks, angry outbursts, emotional shut-down, guilt, and suicide.

From a healing perspective, the way to end these symptoms is to grieve for what happened. The military teaches soldiers how to kill, not how to grieve, and frankly, there is no time for grief in the midst of battle. For civilians, there is no time for grief  during war, survival is the only thought. But when there is time, it must happen in order to find peace of mind.

Here are two interpretations of the stages of grief:
Denial (this isn't happening !)
Anger (why is this happening?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...Take me instead)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Grieving takes time. There is no standard time; it takes as long as it takes and is different for everyone. The stages are not necessarily experienced in the order indicated, and may be experienced simultaneously, or months or years apart. Peace comes after grieving, after looking at all that has happened and accepting the fate of those who were affected. Grieving doesn't mean forgetting, which is not possible, nor desirable. It means that as time goes on, the symptoms of PTSD recede.

If a comrade or relative has died, the survivor may feel guilt that he had not been able to save him, or wishes he would have died too. He also feels anger at the ones who caused the death. One way for survivors to resolve their feelings is to know they will live for a while, then they will die too, and join those who have died. Since it's only a while, they can accept life more easily. After a while, if they have been able to grieve, they can accept life and live it fully until it is their natural time to die.

If a soldier is responsible for the death of an innocent civilian, it is impossible to push the responsibility for those actions off onto someone else, even if (s)he were a small cog in the machine. It simply is how it is. When the wrong is acknowledged and faced, when the victim is acknowledged as a person of equal value, respected and mourned, the terrible effects of the wrong will cease.

The Turning Point -- a story -- a journey of the soul by Bert Hellinger

A man was born into his family, in his homeland, into his culture. Even as a child he was told of the teacher and master, whose example was to be followed, and he felt a deep yearning to follow this man and become like him. He joined others who thought the same way and practiced a strict discipline for many years, following this example, until he became like the master, and thought and spoke and felt and desired just as the master.

Still, he felt something was missing. So, he set out on a long journey, to seek the loneliest places and perhaps cross the ultimate boundary. He passed by an old garden, long since abandoned, where only wild roses still bloomed, and where fruit from the huge trees fell unnoticed to the ground because there was no one who wanted it. On the other side of this garden began the desert.

Soon he was surrounded by an unknown emptiness. It seemed to him that every direction was the same, and the images which sometimes appeared before him also proved to be empty. He roamed on as he felt driven, and when he had long since given up trusting his senses, he saw a spring in front of him. It bubbled out of the earth and the water soaked quickly back into the soil. As far as the water reached, however, the desert was transformed into a paradise.

As he looked around, he saw two strangers approaching. They had done just as he himself had done, and had followed the example of their master until they were like him. They, too, had made a long journey through the loneliness of the desert in hopes of crossing the final boundary. They had found, as he, the spring. All together they bent down to drink of the same water, and each believed himself to be almost at his goal. They said their names: "I have become Gautama, the Buddha."-"I have become Jesus, the Christ."-"have become Mohammed, the Prophet."

The night descended and above them, just as before, shone the stars, still unreachably remote and still. They were all silent, and one of the three knew he was closer to his master than ever before. It was as if he had a sense, for an instant, of how it had been for him as he had known helplessness, futility, and humility. And how he must have felt, too, as he knew guilt. Just beyond the silence he heard, If they could forget me, I could find peace.

The next morning he turned back and escaped out of the desert. Once again he passed by the abandoned garden and continued until he came to the garden which was his own. At his gate stood an old man, as if he had been waiting for him. The old man spoke. "One who has found his way back from such a distance as you, loves the moist earth. He knows that all that grows also dies, and when it is finished, it nourishes." The man answered, "Yes. I agree to the laws of the Earth." And he began to husband his garden.